Aug 21, 2010

relieved









i feel somehow lighter after i let everything out. Especially to you. yup... Everything in 45min.. i think... it was damn hard but i let it go... i just let it all out.. my heart was beating sooo fast something telling me to stop...

"yok.. stop it.. too detail.. too deep.. stop"

but i didn't...

At first, i didn't know where to start. at all. For a longest time, i've been trying to talk about it but i have no idea where to begin. i guess when one keeping it too long.. too old... it gets 'easier' to muntah everything since most of the unwanted details are forgotten.. i mean blurry... you get what i mean? do you get me?

well, just imagine, i summarized the whole thing in less an hour... or was it more? hmm...

what i'm trying to do and why i'm doing this cos i'm tired. i'm sick of it. i'm done thinking. and now. i'm walking towards the lights.. eisehmen... hehe.. come on.. it's a huge maze, an expert level... so. it's not that easy. i'm working on it. my way. let me do this my way. i'm not saying my way is better or pretty. it could be bad, ugly or worse, i dunno... whatever.. but i wanna do it my way.

i just need you to be there.. mentally.. spiritually.. try your best to understand me cos i know you don't get it. too many whys i don't have the answer... for now. too many whats and hows and bla bla bla...

hmmm i guess you're right.. my level of ketahanan is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.... wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy up there.

tell you what... i'm about to reach the peak... my arms are pumped.. =) TIGHT!!!!














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