Aug 19, 2010

dilemma



there's alot of things i just wanna say out loud but it's not that simple.. cos if i do, it's not gonna be a pretty picture. i hate myself for doing this but i gotta do it. just do it and get it done. or else.. i will never forgive myself. i think...

i've been wondering for a very looong time and it's been haunting me for years. i know. silly me huh. so now. i'm done wondering. nothing will stop me. yes. i am that selfish. i am and i am soooooo sorry. just let me go and i'll come back. no matter what.

i never ask any of this to happen. what i'm sure of, i let it happened.. i just go with the flow and i'm here right now. having this dilemma. not knowing what to do... actually, you know what, i know what to do.. from the very beginning, i know what to do, but i'm too selfish. or fool? or crazy? hmmm....

yes. i am that crazy. i can't help it. i've tried soooo many ways to stop it. i walked away. i shut it down. i let go. i did all that. been there done that. but it keeps on coming back from every corner. it is harder than i could imagine to just walk away and pretend as if nothing happen. cos when i do that, almost every now and then, i find myself falling apart. i don't feel like doing anything. i just sit there and keep staring. and the next thing i know, i'm back to same spot.

i just gotta do this.

you can hate me or you can love me or scream your lungs out right to my face. all i'm asking for now is.... let me go. i'll come back. and when i come back. i'll do my best to put myself into one piece. i'll use the same medicine... walk away and let it be.

do u get me? anyone?












2 comments:

dopeymooke on August 19, 2010 at 6:29 PM said...

yes i get u....and all the best. hugs

vsk said...

hmm. =) hugs