Aug 31, 2010

it's time to let each other go

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why does it have to be
time is never right for me
what i gotta say
cannot be delayed

why do i have to go first
be the one to cause the hurt
both be holding on
knowing that it's wrong

you know that this ain't easy
but i know you're waiting for me
to stand in front of you
and do what you couldn't do
confirm it's over

this is closure
and it's time to face the truth
i'm giving you, i'm giving you your closure
and it's hard for me to say
but i'll say it anyway
this is over
this is closure

how time has come and gone
together we don't belong
nothing we can say
will ever make that change
i've gone for better or worst
somehow we make it work
but there's no happy end
when you can't be friends

you know that this ain't easy
but i know you're waiting for me
to stand in front of you
and do what you couldn't do
confirm it's over

this is closure
and it's time to face the truth
i'm giving you, i'm giving you your closure
and it's hard for me to say
but i'll say it anyway
this is over
this is closure
it's all over

it's time to let each other go
it's not as if we didn't know
we've been holding on
because it was safe
but it's time to go our separate ways

i'm giving you, i'm giving you closure


-- gabrielle --






Aug 24, 2010

a friend told me...

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no matter how well you play your cards....
either way...
you gonna get hurt...









Aug 23, 2010

somehow...

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i know where i belong to...
i know what is real.. and what is really real...
i know what is right...
i know what is wrong...
i know what i want... and what i really want...

i know

but

even i knooow...

i am still here...
having this...
this thing in me...

hmmmm

somehow i know...
its gonna be...

____?____

at the end of the day...
you'll see...
and when the time comes...

i hope

you'll be there for me...

smile at me and tell me...

"i'm happy for you"

or

"i'm happy for you"

or

"i'm happy for you"


what say you ah...










Aug 22, 2010

this morning...

1 comments





i had a bad day. Having heavy breathing. I don't feel good. physically and mentally. i've been thinking and thinking and thinking what's next to do with my work. i've tried my best to make everything goes perfect. guess its not good enough for some people. i hate it so much. i hate myself for it at the same time so i just leave everything and stared at the screen ALL DAY. yup. ALL DAY.

i realized i've been blogging alot. well, that's what happens when one can't keep it inside any longer. too 'heavy' to keep.

a friend of mine is sad because of something and i'm not sure what to say about it and of course it's not true. you've got to believe me cos if you don't. then i'm sorry. sorry that you have to think or feel that way. like i said, i don't want to make things worse. so. if i have to do it so that everyone is happy with it. then yeah, sure. whatever makes you happy.

i know. u don't get me right.. hmmm...











Aug 21, 2010

note 26

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our time will come
forget abt everything....just think of me






relieved

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i feel somehow lighter after i let everything out. Especially to you. yup... Everything in 45min.. i think... it was damn hard but i let it go... i just let it all out.. my heart was beating sooo fast something telling me to stop...

"yok.. stop it.. too detail.. too deep.. stop"

but i didn't...

At first, i didn't know where to start. at all. For a longest time, i've been trying to talk about it but i have no idea where to begin. i guess when one keeping it too long.. too old... it gets 'easier' to muntah everything since most of the unwanted details are forgotten.. i mean blurry... you get what i mean? do you get me?

well, just imagine, i summarized the whole thing in less an hour... or was it more? hmm...

what i'm trying to do and why i'm doing this cos i'm tired. i'm sick of it. i'm done thinking. and now. i'm walking towards the lights.. eisehmen... hehe.. come on.. it's a huge maze, an expert level... so. it's not that easy. i'm working on it. my way. let me do this my way. i'm not saying my way is better or pretty. it could be bad, ugly or worse, i dunno... whatever.. but i wanna do it my way.

i just need you to be there.. mentally.. spiritually.. try your best to understand me cos i know you don't get it. too many whys i don't have the answer... for now. too many whats and hows and bla bla bla...

hmmm i guess you're right.. my level of ketahanan is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.... wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy up there.

tell you what... i'm about to reach the peak... my arms are pumped.. =) TIGHT!!!!














Aug 19, 2010

quote 7

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what's gonna happen to you if i'm gone...
i don't know... i rather die... i only have you and mummy in my life...
do you wanna go...?
no
do you wanna.... grow old with me...?
yes
.........................................
ma.... don't go.... i love you... i'm sorry....
...................................................................
hmmm... yeah.... ok... let's just sleep. ok.





note 25

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everytime i sit and listen to the music...
Vanessa appears..







dilemma

2 comments

there's alot of things i just wanna say out loud but it's not that simple.. cos if i do, it's not gonna be a pretty picture. i hate myself for doing this but i gotta do it. just do it and get it done. or else.. i will never forgive myself. i think...

i've been wondering for a very looong time and it's been haunting me for years. i know. silly me huh. so now. i'm done wondering. nothing will stop me. yes. i am that selfish. i am and i am soooooo sorry. just let me go and i'll come back. no matter what.

i never ask any of this to happen. what i'm sure of, i let it happened.. i just go with the flow and i'm here right now. having this dilemma. not knowing what to do... actually, you know what, i know what to do.. from the very beginning, i know what to do, but i'm too selfish. or fool? or crazy? hmmm....

yes. i am that crazy. i can't help it. i've tried soooo many ways to stop it. i walked away. i shut it down. i let go. i did all that. been there done that. but it keeps on coming back from every corner. it is harder than i could imagine to just walk away and pretend as if nothing happen. cos when i do that, almost every now and then, i find myself falling apart. i don't feel like doing anything. i just sit there and keep staring. and the next thing i know, i'm back to same spot.

i just gotta do this.

you can hate me or you can love me or scream your lungs out right to my face. all i'm asking for now is.... let me go. i'll come back. and when i come back. i'll do my best to put myself into one piece. i'll use the same medicine... walk away and let it be.

do u get me? anyone?












Aug 17, 2010

i need to.....

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WAKE UP!
WAKE UP!
WAKE UP!
WAKE UP!





Aug 16, 2010

and i love you so...

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note 24

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just follow your heart darling...
U know what to do...
your heart will lead U to where U wanna go...
I can't stop or force U..
U already know where my heart is..






Aug 14, 2010

quote 6

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are you ok?
yeah.. i'm ok..
then why are u so sad..?
............
i dunno... i'm just sad over something...
something what....
.............
work....
don't worry... everything will be fine
i dont think so...

*hugs







note 23

1 comments





i miss u
i love u
i need u now
come with me
pls.... i'm begging u
i can't.. i want to but i can't
this is hard vanessa
i'm not ready for this
neither do i...
bye vanessa
i see u when i see u...







Aug 6, 2010

note 22

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another day wasted without u







note 21

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i need u now
soooooooooo desperately
i hate this
i only wanna be with you
its better
i miss u





Aug 3, 2010

Nothing Hurts Like Goodbye

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Have you ever been hurt so bad
That you thought that you would die
Have your had to hold back tears
When you just wanted to cry
Have you ever had to hear the truth
And try to keep a smile
Have you ever had so much to say
That you just ran out of time

Nothing hurts more than when you're saying goodbye
You're left feeling lonely with pain you feel inside
The heart keeps aching and you feel a little fragile
Cause nothing hurts, nothing hurts, like goodbye

Ever wish you can turn back time

And live your life again
Have you ever wanted one more chance
To right all your regrets
Wish the rain could was away tears
And wash away the hurt
Cause pushing thoughts to the back of your head
It doesn't seem to work

Nothing hurts more than when you're saying goodbye
You're left feeling lonely with pain you feel inside
Your heart keeps breaking and you feel a little fragile
Cause nothing hurts, no nothing hurts, like goodbye

Like goodbye


-- gabrielle --