Apr 4, 2010

you know...

sometimes when i'm driving..
while listening to radio..
i'll be in my own world.. thinking.. wonder..
having all the questions in my head..
those 'what if...' issues..
and i'll be thinking and missing everybody back home..
home.. friends.. those days..
basically everything la.. depends on the songs..

most of the time..
i'll be imagining myself watching sunset at the beach..
with my sunglass and a cup of coffee..
enjoying the breeze.. not too hot though.. hmm...
and then smile.. and think of my whole life..
things i've done.. and what i have failed to do..
or what i would love to do.. to have.. or to be with..

when will i have the time to do all those things..
especially with mom and dad..

ever since i've lost few ppl that i really really care about..
i mean.. really close.. and somehow they have touched my life.. or vice versa..
i always wonder..

how their partner go thru it?
they are so alone.. not alone ALONE in the world..
but.. u know.. bed time.. you don't sleep with the whole world with you right..
u know.. not having him/her around.. anywhere in the world..
so.. i wonder..

i wonder how they go thru it when even myself can't take it..
it's hard to breathe u know..
but i manage to sleep.. or move on..
but then.. i'm thinking.. maybe it never really happen to me... yet..
i dunno..

then i'd be like..
"hmmm you think too much.. chill.."
and that.. i tell myself..
leave it to HIM.. He knows what to do..

i feel like..
i'm taking things for granted..
thinking that everyone is gonna be around.. forever..

and that.. you know.. as a fact.. is not true..
and when u just starting to accept that fact is real..
hmmm... i'll be panic and lost..
and start calling everyone..
and tell them how much i miss them.. and how much i love them..
and wish i could just come over.. and be with them..
whoever la.. could be you... could be mom.. could be dad.. whoever in my head..

so.. don't be surprised if i call you all the sudden..
just to say 'hi'

sometimes, when it comes to my partner..
i'm like one psycho bitch keep calling him..
it's just that... words are just.... hmmm.. not enough..
saying it just not enough..
but for me.. it's good enough actually..
it's just sometimes i'm afraid they don't really get it..
and i'll get frustrated when i don't get the right respond..

yeah.. i'll be like this..
being sad.. being difficult..

what actually is my problem...

no idea..


so chill...


dopeymooke on April 4, 2010 at 2:39 PM said...

happy Easter babe!

i totally get wht u mean..sa pun kadang2 like dat....bt i guess, sometimes the more we think about it...lgi susah hati kita..and lg kurang la keseronokan hidup....life is short...let's just do and be the best we can for ourselves and for our loved ones and at the same time, enjoy life....woot woot woot...


vsk said...

:) yeah.. i guess u're right on that.. just...

gosh... 2 more weeks to sipadan? wow! im sooo going for that huh...


NanC on April 8, 2010 at 9:38 AM said...

same here girl...sia pun gitu juga... MOST of the time, I wonder/ponder time driving....alot of Q too... *sigh* pun ada.....
Married or single is not the issue, the issue is YOU. OURSELF!
we always tend to think about ppl's problem, but actually we are yg the one slalu ber-problem....
sometimes, i wonder too if I did the right choice!! But... haiizzzzz
we just have to move on... and smile :p
no matter how bad you'll face it!
if kenot tahan, drink sang-galas.. then zzzzzz...
thats my pill u know!
wahhh u guys gng to Sipadan.... bestnye.... tangkap gambar byk2 k... who's diving? for sure Selina lah... hehhehe enjoy girls...

vsk said...

:) well... this is just one of the tension moment.. i'll be fine... i did the sang-galas.. hehe...

yeah... 4 more days to sipadan.. heee... yes.. sk diving.. me and gracie snorkel snorkel only... buli la tu kan... good enough to release whatever can be released la..